Social Kabuki

5:00 AM - My Iphones starts to vibrate.  I crawl out of bed and selfishly wish that I was unemployed. 5:03 AM - Coffee hisses out of the Keurig.  I sip it and selfishly wish that i was unemployed. 5:05 AM - Dog goes out.  I stand on the deck, sip my coffee, light a cigarette and selfishly wish that i was unemployed. 5:10 AM - I sink down on the sofa and aimlessly flip through channels.  As i sip on my coffee, I selfishly wish that I was unemployed. 5:15 AM - Dog is back inside.  I toss two scoops of a very expensive salmon based food into her dish.  She is happy that I am not unemployed.   5:30 AM - I start watching an infomercial about rotisserie cookers.  I notice that the advertised model causes fat to drip away as it spins while the competitors model results in lost flavour dripping away.  Its all the same grease.   5:45 AM - Coffee hisses once again from the Keurig.  I coax the dog outside as an excuse for me to smoke another cigarette.  She is my willing accomplice. 5:50

Sunday March 15th 2005 (2017 name redacted) and I went to McDonalds yesterday for lunch, it was quite an experience. First of all, you have to understand that I don't think either of us actually wanted to eat there.  We were both just really fucking hungry.  And after all, the sign in the food court said that we would be "loving it". 2017 Update - I am always hungry.  I will always eat at fast food when given the opportunity.  I always want to eat there.  Who am I to argue with such a clever marketing campaign like that? So I walk up to the counter after a long period of deliberation ready to place my order. A Philippino girl (whom I later learned from the receipt went by the name of Narita,)asks me what I would like, so I ordered 2 of the big -extra value meals. When she asked me what I would like to drink, her accent was so strong that i could have sworn that she asked if would like cock. I immediately said yes and was quite disappointed when she retu