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Tubes & Tunnels Part 1

When I was in grade nine, my father brought the family together around the table for a family meeting, we were moving.  These types of family meetings were a regular occurrence based on my fathers ocupation.  One of the sacrifices to being a career soldier was that every two years, you would be required to uproot yourself as well as your dependants (that's what we were called on forms) every two years.  Personally, this was never a sacrifice for me, this was an opportunity for a reinvention.

I always held my breath in advance of the location reveal.  Just where exactly would the "new me" resurface?  Gone would be the evidence of the incident that ended with a broken arm.  There would be no trace of the boy who ate too much on the ski trip and puked, and definitely no rememberance of that soaking wet bus seat on that long drive home from the Zoo.

This move was slightly different.  Rather than the normal isolated military base, we were being relocated to a large city.  I - WAS - EXCITED.

My excitement regarding this move was driven up the needle to an absolute fever pitch when my father handed me a series of pamphlets geared at drumming up tourism for the city.   As I frantically tore through the brochures I skimmed past all of the expected big city brags.  Public transportation, an art museum as well as a few upcoming events that I made sure to note for future consideration (afterall, if we were to become big city kids, it was only natural that we would asimalate into the culture.)

Then I saw it.  This was no backwater town.

My hands were shaking as i unfolded this laminated guide to my new life.  On the front, written in giant golden letters:

 Visit The Downtown of the Future!

Downtown was connected by a series of glass skywalks and underground corridors.  Said corridors and glass skywalks were lined with boutique stores and coffee shops just like the ones you see on TV!  Better still, this spiderweb of modern marvels connected together three shopping malls.

I even brought the the brochure to school to brag on behalf of what i was certain would become my favourite city.

"See you later losers! I hope you enjoy rain and snow... I'll never need to see it ever again...      
What's that?
Oh its because my family is moving to the city of the future, its basically what Stars Wars was based on."                          

Months later I learned a harsh lesson about the diffences between reality and advertisements.  Kids are so fucking stupid.

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